Second post in one day! We went to church tonight, and what the pastor spoke about really was something I needed to hear, and I wanted to write about it before I forgot!
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philipians 4:13. Most of us know this verse. Tonight, I learned that most people actually use it out of context though. People read this and use it to say they can do whatever they want because God will give them strength. That's not what this verse is saying. What Paul is saying is that whatever situation God brings our way, we can endure it because our strength comes from Him. Also, sometimes we may pray about a situation, that God will either give us something or take something away, and He may choose not to do that. But, we can still get through that situation with God's help and with our strength coming from Him.
I'm going to be a little honest here. Some of you may know my story, some of you may know parts of it. Anyway, long story short, I was in a very difficult marriage for 7 years. I prayed so much for things to change in my marriage. For spiritual leadership in our home, for salvation, if that's what needed to happen. I prayed that my marriage would change and turn into a marriage that was pleasing to Him and a reflection of what His love is for us. Despite my prayers and doing whatever I could do to save my marriage, it ended in divorce, and I was left as a single mom to 2 little boys.
Being a single mom was very scary. I had been a stay at home mom since I found out I was pregnant with Cade. I had no income besides working a few hours at my church. Through all of that, I learned that I had to rely on God. Putting my kids in daycare was something I did not want to do. I prayed about it and felt that God wanted me to start my own in-home daycare. And, wow...He opened the doors for that so quickly! I actually had to turn a few people away because I couldn't take anymore kids. I had awesome kids and awesome parents to work with. I couldn't have asked for a better situation! So, there I was...stay at home mom turned single mom who was actually able to provide for my kids and still be at home with them every day. What a blessing!
Even with the awesome way He opened the doors for me to have the in-home daycare, money was still very tight. I look back now and have no idea how I was even able to afford food for my kids and me. I know it was totally God providing because there is no way I could have done it on my own.
Despite seeing how God was taking care of us, I was angry. I was angry that I had prayed so hard for God to save my marriage, yet it still ended in divorce. I was angry at myself for having a failed marriage and feeling as though I had failed as a wife and mom, and I was angry at God. Why did I have to be in this situation? Why was I left to feel lonely and sometimes helpless in raising 2 boys.
Now, I know why it happened. God had a much better plan, and even though 7 years of a very emotionally stressful and draining marriage and almost 2 years of being a single mom, God gave me the strength to endure those times. And, He has answered those prayers I had from my marriage. Prayers for spiritual leadership in my home and for a man who makes family a priority and makes God his number one priority. He just answered those prayers in a way I didn't expect. He answered them by sending Bryan into our lives. God knew what was better for me and for Cade and Liam. So, now, I am thankful for those hard times, because I grew as a person and God was able to work in my life in unexpected ways.
If it feels like God isn't answering your prayers the way you think He should, just know that He will provide to strength the endure whatever situation He allows you to go through. Something the pastor said tonight was that God will allow you to go through trials until He can see his reflection in you.
I'm thankful for our church and what we are learning there!
