Back on the wagon

Now that Beckham is 6 weeks old, I feel like it's time to get back into shape! It would be nice to fit into more than the few things that fit me right now. My clothes options are just sad at the moment. I've lost quite a bit of my pregnancy weight, which happens pretty easily when 10 lbs of that is baby :) I am definitely not where I want to be, though, and would like to lose another 40 pounds to be where I feel most comfortable. But, more than wanting to look better, I want to feel better and I want my kids to see me working to get in shape. It's my job as their mom to teach them about being healthy and making healthy choices. My weight is something I have always struggled with. In high school, I struggled with eating..as in, I would go a long time without eating. I lost a lot of weight, but I was not healthy at all. While I don't starve myself anymore, I do still struggle with eating and body image. I don't want my kids to see that as they grow up! Aside from all of that, I want to be healthy so that I can enjoy my kids. I want to be around as they grow up. Being healthy is one of the best things I can do for my family.

Anyway...so today I woke up earlier than usual and got in a workout. Yesterday, we went grocery shopping and bought healthy food. I told Bryan my cart looked SO much healthier than it usually does!

I'm trying to get into a better routine in more than working out. Some days, I find we get distracted and don't finish everything we need to during the day. So, today, I got up and worked out and then started breakfast and school right away. We finished all of school by 11:30 and I was able to do some laundry, watch a movie, hang out with the boys and read some of my book! That is a much better day than being lazy all morning and then having to do school at 3:00 or before bed. We all love getting it done early, so I WILL keep this schedule up. I may have to find a way to go to the gym for my workouts, though. Doing it at home this morning was not easy. My 30 minute workout took an hour after stopping to comfort a fussy baby and then to nurse because he decided he was hungry :) I think getting to the gym would make my workouts much more efficient. We'll see if I can get up early enough for that :)

Happy birthday, Beckham!!

Beckham finally decided he was ready to come into this world :) He was born September 8 at 6:15 and he is a big boy! He weighed in at a whopping 9 lbs 12 oz and 21 inches long.

We have been excited about having our home birth. This was the first time for either of us to experience that. Labor started Wednesday nigh (Sept. 7th) at 6:00. We had gone to Wal-Mart at 5 and while there, I was noticing a dull ache in my lower back, but my back has hurt a lot with this pregnancy so I didn't think anything about it. We rented a movie and came home to watch it. At 6, I noticed that ache would come and go at pretty regular intervals. So, I decided to time them and during the hour that I timed them, it happened 10 times. I finally figured out that they were contractions. I decided to take a shower and see if they stopped. It was hard for me to believe I could actually be going into labor because I have had several false contractions, so I figured that was happening again...even though I was 4 days past my due date :) After my shower, the continued happening, so I decided I should call my midwife just to let her know what was going on. I tested positive for Group B strep test, so if I were really in labor, I wanted to make sure I got to her in plenty of time to get the antibiotics I would need (I actually had PLENTY of time, ha!). We went to her clinic around 10:30 and she checked me. I was dilated to a 4 and definitely in labor, so I got my first round of antibiotics and then came home to try to get some sleep. I was able to sleep until 4:30 and at that point, the contractions got too hard to sleep through, so I got up and just watched t.v.

My midwife got to our house at 8:30 for my next round of antibiotics and stayed the rest of the day, as contractions were pretty regular. That is what I LOVED about having a midwife. She came to my house and stayed all day just to be here for support. If I had been doing this in a hospital, I would have been sent home at that point. Anyway, contractions started getting a little more intense so I got in the birth pool and that really helped me to relax.

Around 4, my contractions got very intense. I moved into different positions during contractions to try to get my water to break on its own. After several contractions, and me having a really rough time getting through these contractions, my water still didn't break. My midwife went ahead and broke my water so that things could progress a little more, as I was at a 7, almost an 8 at this point. After she broke my water, things went really fast. I started feeling a ton of pressure during my contractions. And around this point...I don't have much memory of what happened. All I know is before long, it was time to push. And wow...this was definitely not what I expected! I had an epidural with my first two, so I never really felt anything while pushing. Oh my goodness...it was rough. I've never experienced anything like that in my life. I had many many moments of regretting not being in a hospital with an epidural, ha! And I'm surprised Bryan doesn't have bruises or fingerprint marks on his arms! It's amazing the neighbors didn't hear me having this kid! Once his head was out, the midwife noticed he had a knot in his umbilical cord, so we had to get him out as soon as possible. She had me flip to my hands and knees so she could get him out asap. A few pushes later and he was out and he was perfectly healthy. I'm so thankful for our awesome midwife who knew exactly what to do in a scary situation!

Once he was born, I could see why it hurt so bad trying to get him out. The one time I have a medicine free birth, I have an almost 10 pound baby! At one point, I really felt like I wasn't going to make it! I wanted to give up, but of course, I couldn't. It was rough. But, I am SO happy we did this at home with a midwife and no pain meds. I loved that an hour after having him, I was laying with him on our couch and hanging out with my family in the comfort of our home and I got to sleep in my own bed. It was just so much more comfortable doing everything at our house. Yes, the pain was rough, but was so worth it to have that experience that I feel like I missed out on the first 2 times.

The boys just love him. They love him so much that they can't keep their hands off of him :) Cade has been giving him kisses all day long. I'm so thankful they are happy to have a new baby brother!

I will add some pictures of him soon, once I take some with our good camera!

Life these days..

Maybe someday I will do post #2 for our California trip, but that's not happening today :) It's been a while since I've updated, and since I keep this blog for me to be able to look back and see what has happened to us over the year, I figured I should do an update on what we've been up to!

First..pregnancy!! We are down to 4 weeks until my due date! While it feels like this pregnancy has taken forever, it also feels like it has flown by. We are SO ready to meet this little boy. Pregnancy has been rough on me the past 2 months or so. It always gets rough towards the end, but I have never had pain with my other 2 like I have had with this one. My lower back and my hips hurt SO bad that I can hardly get out of bed in the mornings. At night, I have to switch sides that I sleep on every 30 minutes or so, so I'm not getting any sleep. Plus, he is taking all my lung space, so I can hardly breath. Any little bit of movement takes all my breath away. Hardly being able to move really hinders me being able to do what I need to do around the house. We are having a home birth, so I want my house really clean and laundry done until he gets here. I don't want to be in labor at home and worrying about having a messy house. But, with these pains and lack of being able to breathe, it's hard to keep up with the messes the boys make or with the laundry. I'm just overwhelmed lately! I'm not trying to complain. I am SO very thankful for this baby and this healthy pregnancy, I'm just ready for a little relief so I can do everything that I need to be doing around here. I feel very useless these days. I haven't had many food cravings at this point in pregnancy. I crave 2 things...ice is #1. I want ice ALL the time. I drink something just so I can eat the ice. I told Bryan when I go into labor, I'm sending him to Sonic to get lots of ice! The other..and this is a weird one..I made my own laundry soap 2 months ago. I crave the smell of it. I'm not sure if it really just smells good so I like it, or if the pregnancy is making me crave the scent. All I know is I can just go into the laundry room and smell it for 5 or 10 minutes at a time. I want to do laundry, just so I can smell the laundry soap.

School is going GREAT with the boys! We are moving right along in the books we are using. Liam is doing so great with learning his letters and the sounds they make. It has taken a while to get there with him. We went through 4 different phonics programs before finding what works for him. I'm so glad we found something that works and we are sticking to it. All I do with Liam during the day is Bible, phonics/writing, math and art usually once or twice a week. Other than that, he is welcome to sit in on my lessons that I do with Cade, but usually he chooses to color or play or watch a movie while I'm finishing with Cade. Cade is doing great with his lessons, too. I love getting to see him learn and catch on to what I'm teaching him. I also just love seeing their natural curiosity. There has been times that we have studied something not on the "lesson plan" just because they show interest in it. We had some mushrooms growing in our yard after all this rain. They were asking so many questions about the mushrooms, so we just did a project and learned everything we could about them. That's the great thing with homeschooling..we can break from our normal routine and study something that they want to learn about. We are all loving it! The co-op we are joining starts in a few weeks and I can't wait. They will have so much fun. They are going to do an art class, possibly music..haven't decided if I'm signing them up for that yet or not. Each month they will be doing a different sport as well as a class where they will learn things like cultural studies, science labs, creative writing...each month is a different focus. And, each month they will have a family field trip. I think we are going to have so much fun with this! So, we will do school 4 days a week and one day a week will be set aside for our co-op day. We also have the option to sign up for a foreign language class. I haven't decided yet if we will do that this year or not.

We had maternity pictures taken 2 weeks ago by our favorite family photographer. She did such a great job! I can't wait for her to do our newborn pictures in a few weeks! Here are a few of my favorites.

This little boy has one awesome daddy!!

California Dreamin' - Part 1

Bryan and I just got back from a wonderful trip to California. In order save my facebook feed from a million pictures, I wanted to post a blog instead. Plus, this helps me to have a way to remember our trip :)

Our first day was so busy. We flew out of Tulsa early that morning at arrived at 1:30 in California (which was 3:30 our time). We went to our hotel and then decided to go to LA/Hollywood. We did SO much walking. After that, we went to Griffith Observatory and that was followed by Santa Monica Pier. Needless to say, by the end of the night, my back was hurting so bad and my feet were swollen. It was not an easy day for a 6 month pregnant woman! Here are some pictures from our first day:

 View from our hotel...not too bad!

Having dinner in front of the Chinese Theater on Hollywood Boulevard

The Chinese Theater...the place you go if you want people to try to get money from you!

Griffith Observatory...after a VERY long walk!

View of the Hollywood sign from Griffith observatory

  View of LA

Santa Monica Pier - It was really nice, but by the time we got here, I was just worn out and could not walk anymore, so we just enjoyed the view and then left.

The second day, I was able to relax at the hotel while Bryan was in training. That afternoon, we went to Dana Point Harbor and then to Laguna to enjoy the gorgeous beaches. I'm pretty sure Laguna was my favorite place the entire trip...we even went back the last day. Here are pictures from day 2!

Dana Point Harbor

 This dog has it made.

Laguna

Seriously..so beautiful!

The third day, we went to San Clemente to check out the beach there. As you can see, we pretty much just spent every evening at a different beach!

 I will leave this post to the first 3 days. I have so many more pictures to go through of our trip. I will try to get the last post up tomorrow! We had a great time, but it really is so good to be home! If only there were a beach a little closer to home :)

Financial Peace

A little over 2 years ago, I went through the Dave Ramsey course, Financial Peace University, at my church. A month after the class ended, I became a single mom. This class saved me financially. I have no idea how I would have made it financially those 2 years on my own without having finished FPU. When I started dating again, one thing on my "list" of MUST HAVES for the guy I married was that he had to take FPU, and we had to be on the same page financially. In my DivorceCare class that I took shortly after my separation, I learned that finances was the #1 reason for divorce. So, if you are on the same page financially, you are off to a pretty great start!

I met Bryan, and as things started going well with us while we were dating, I told him before getting married, he had to take FPU or read Dave's books or something. The church he was attending at the time amazingly decided to offer the class shortly after that. He was on board with the Dave way after that, so I agreed to marry him ;).

Well, we are ready to really focus and work through the baby steps that Dave sets. These 7 baby steps are:

1. $1000 in an emergency fund
2. Pay off all debt using the debt snowball
3. 3-6 months expenses in savings
4. Invest 15% of household income into Roth IRAs and pre-tax retirement
5. College funding for children
6. Pay off home early
7. Build wealth and give!

We had accomplished baby step #1, but then had to dip into our emergency fund when our car had some problems. So, our first focus is to build back what we had to spend. After that, we are ready to tackle debt!

I'm going to be transparent here, because I want us to be held accountable for paying off our debt and to accomplish our goal. We added up our debt that we have and the total is about $31,000.00. A lot of this comes from previous marriages...seriously guys, don't get credit cards and don't get divorced. Both are just financial killers! We were listening to Dave on the radio as we were coming home from a trip this weekend. A couple called in and they had paid off $25,000 in debt in 19 months, making less money than we make right now. That just set off a light bulb in me. Why do I think we can't accomplish that?? We are just as capable as anyone else. All it takes is focus and some self-control with money. I know we can do it and I'm looking forward to seeing that amount go down every month. If that couple paid off $25,000 in 19 months, I don't see why we can't accomplish our goal in 2 years! Yes, it takes sacrifice, it takes saying no. No more eating out, no more random trips that we decide to take at the last minute, every extra money we have we will put towards our debt payments. I know that doesn't sound like a very fun way to live, but as Dave says "Live like no one else, so that later you can LIVE like no one else." I know we will get there and I know that with us working with the same goal in mind, together, we will reach our goal! I'm excited to see how this goes!

Now, I'm working on ways to save us money. Obviously, the no eating out and spending less on gas. My biggest struggle has been getting our grocery bill lowered. I used to use coupons, but I have a hard time with that now. I like to eat healthy, and unfortunately, most coupons are for processed foods, which I don't buy. So, any tips on how to lower the grocery budget would be appreciated :) And, any other money saving tips in general would be great!

Just say NO!

Lately, I've been trying to do better with spending time reading my Bible every day. I have been doing better than I was, but I have found that I would get distracted with other things and end up not doing it. Today was one of those days. I sat down 3 times to read my Bible and just spend some time with God, and each time, I was distracted by the kids needing or wanting something from me. I ended up not getting to do it until 9:30 after they were in bed...but even then it wasn't uninterrupted. I had to get up a few times to deal with them and their usual bedtime difficulties. I've been doing the Parenting By Design devotional on UVersion, because I feel like I need help in that area. Today's was about how sometimes we have to say no to our kids in order to spend time with God each day. That is the only real way too get rest and be rejuvenated...which is something I really need some days (today was one of those days). This devotion showed how even Jesus had to say no and get alone to pray. Luke 5:15-16 says "The news about Him spread all the more , so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sickness. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." Even Jesus had to get away from his followers (I don't have as many as He did, but they do like to follow me everywhere I go!). I have to learn it's OK to say no. They don't have to have my constant attention. If I'm going to be the mom God has called me to be, I MUST take time for myself to spend alone, in a quiet place with God, and the Bible gives me permission to do that without feeling mommy guilt!

School Planning

I am SO excited that summer is almost here!! Cade has 5 days of school left and then he is DONE. I'm even more excited that it is almost time to start homeschooling! I've been working hard on getting all the lesson plans done and organized. I'm so excited to use the curriculum I have chosen to use with him. I have a daily schedule for us that will allow him to be done with school be 12 or 1 each day, which is so great. That includes him getting about an hour and a half break total during his school lessons each day. I'm excited to have more time in the afternoons just to play or find fun activities and field trips to do with my boys. I don't think I have posted here, so I will post what curriculum I have chosen to use with him.

Hooked on Phonics 1st Grade - Reading
Handwriting Without Tears - Writing
Math-U-See - Math
Apologia Astronomy - Science
US Geography/History from Confessions of a Homeschooler
Art from Confessions of a Homeschooler
Music from Confessions of a Homeschooler (I love her curriculums!)

I was considering starting Kindergarten with Liam. He wouldn't start K in public school until August of next year if he were going to public school. But, we are still working on learning letters and he struggles a little with that, so I think we will just keep reviewing that and move on when he is ready.

I'm considering doing a year around schedule. I've been researching it a little and it seems like it would work well for us. I read where some people will do 3 months on, 1 month off. I love the idea of having several breaks instead of just one long 3 month break. Plus, it would allow us to take extended time off when Beckham is born, which I really want so we can have some time to bond with him and get on some type of schedule with him (yeah, right ha!). If we do that, we will be starting school after our trip to California in June.

I'm very much looking forward to this year! I know it won't be completely smooth and it will be a learning process, but I am SO excited to start homeschooling and helping my kids LOVE learning!

Thank Heaven for little boys!

I've wanted to write this post for a while, but wasn't really sure how to say it without people getting offended, so I'm just going to try :)

When Bryan and I found out we were having a baby, I'll admit, we wanted a girl. But, when we went to our ultrasound and saw that it was definitely NOT a girl, I wasn't surprised at all :) I feel like God has just called me to be a mom to a bunch of boys. It really makes me sad as I look at men in the world today. On t.v., men are degraded and made to look stupid while the women of the family seem to control everything in the family. This world has gotten away from allowing men to be who they are supposed to be.

According to the Bible (which my family believes in and tries our hardest to follow..), men are called to be the leader of the family. Men are to love their wives and wives are to respect their husbands. Very sadly, I don't see that happen a lot these days. I think if we followed the Bible's plan for the family and marriage, there wouldn't be so many divorces. I can speak boldly about this, because I have been through a divorce. I am now married to an AMAZING man who is a Godly leader. Because I know that my husband is following God's leadership and doing his best to live his life to please God, I know that I can trust where my husband leads our family.

Anyway, back to having boys. I feel that God is giving me the opportunity to raise these boys to be MEN. Men who love their families, men who strive to please God with their lives. These days, it's okay for men to be withdrawn from families. I see it SO many times and it breaks my heart. Men will come home from work and go to their "man cave" so they can do their own thing instead of being bothered by their children and wife. It's heartbreaking. I want more for my family than that, and I want my boys to grow to want more for their families as they grow and become husbands and fathers (if that's God's plan for their lives).

Thank you, Lord, for trusting Bryan and me with these boys. I pray daily that we raise them the way He wants us to and they become the men that He has created them to be. We have an opportunity to make a difference in the next generation of men and I'm thankful God is going to equip us for the task!

Diet change

We have been having some issues with Cade's behavior and I am at a loss as to what to do for him. The main problems we have with him is he has no sense of personal space. If we try to explain to him why personal space is important, he just doesn't get it. No amount of  talking or discipline gets it through to him. I've done some reading and research and I'm going to be changing his (and all of hour's!) diet. It will be a 6 week transition, each week focusing on something to eliminate.  This week, I will be getting rid of artificial coloring and flavors. I will be shopping tomorrow for new items to add to our diet that is free of these things! Any ideas for snacks for kids that have no artificial colors or flavors would be appreciated! I'll update later with what I found for him and how things are going!

Birth Plan

Leaving my last doctor appointment, I felt very uneasy with where I was getting prenatal care. I have just had an uneasy feeling since starting there. So, I started looking at other options. I had a friend recommend a midwife in this area. I called her on Monday and met with her today. I felt so comfortable with her, and like I would be in good hands. So, we decided to switch my prenatal care to her.

We have also made the decision to have a home birth. Now, this is something I thought I would NEVER have a desire to do. But, I have been researching lately and I have in my head the type of birth I want. I feel like I won't get that in a hospital setting. I'm excited to do this in the comfort of my house, with my body being the judge of how long it takes to give birth. In a hospital, a lot of times if you are not progressing at the speed they want you to, pitocin will be started. I have nothing against that, if that is the route you choose. In fact, I had pitocin and an epidural with Cade and Liam and they were very easy deliveries. Liam did have some problems with the pitocin. It caused his heart rate to go crazy and they kept having to turn off the meds to allow him to "rest." This time around, I'm very much looking forward to a natural birth, letting my body do what it needs to. I've never felt a contraction...so I am a little nervous :) I know this will be completely different from my other births, but I'm so excited to do this.

I cannot wait to meet our sweet baby girl or boy. I already love this baby so much and can't wait to have our family grow!

New Beginnings

I started a new devotional study with You Version called New Beginnings. I'm only on day one and it has already really started speaking to me. This is my blog, so I'm going to be honest, because I want to remember parts of my life when God is trying to teach me something.

I moved to Harrison in August. To say it has been easy for me would be a lie. I've cried more than once during pity parties that I throw for myself. I love my husband so much, so the move to be here with him is worth it. But, it hasn't been easy. I struggle almost every day. I lived in Northwest Arkansas for 7 years. That is the longest I have ever lived anywhere. I consider NWA home. When I moved to Harrison, I left my friends, my church, my kids' friends. It's been hard for me to find my place in Harrison. I don't really have many friends here and I get very lonely. In NWA, I had stay-at-home mom friends that would come over during the day. We would get to talk and our kids would play. I was a part of the single mom's group at my church. It is an amazing group of ladies that I love dearly now. Finding where I fit in here in my new town has been hard.

Through my first day of this devotion, God is showing  me that He has me here because He loves me and He has a plan for me. There is a reason I'm in Harrison. I'm now praying that God will show me where He wants me and that He will bring that friend or friends that I need and that I so much want in my life. I know it's going to get better, and I'm going to try to stop the pity parties, but I'm not making any promises that it will never happen again :) Trusting God is not always an easy thing to do, but I know He has a good plan for my life and will show me where I need to be and where I fit in this new town.

Preschool

This was my first week doing preschool with Liam. He loves it. Every morning, he is begging to do school. We usually finish in about an hour...he would do school for 4 hours if I had enough stuff to keep him occupied for that long! I'm amazed at how much he has already learned in just the first week. He's learning his letters and the sound they make. He's been doing HIPPY (which is kind of preschool. Someone comes to our house each week and brings me the lessons for the week.) Anyway, I feel like the HIPPY lessons are a little below his level and he hasn't learned much. So, he is loving the more challenging work. I've also learned a lot that will help me as I'm homeschooling both of the boys next year. One thing I learned... I need to be more organized! I was a little overwhelmed this week just because of my lack of organization, so I'm going into next week more prepared! It will be a learning process for all of us, but I'm so excited about it! And, Cade can't wait to start next year. I have his curriculum figured out for next year. I have some other friends homeschooling, so I'll list that curriculum here to help you if you are looking for something!

Hooked on Phonics - Reading
Handwriting without Tears - Handwriting
Math-U-See - Math
Exploring Creation (Still deciding between Anatomy and Astronomy. We'll do whichever one Cade decides he wants to do first.) - Science
Positive Action for Christ - Bible
Art Treasury - Art

Confessionsofahomeschooler.com has a US Geography curriculum that looks fun, but I think for our first "semester" we will stick this, and then if we want to add in more, we will do the Geography. We may save that for the next year, though.

With Liam, right now I am doing the Pre-K curriculum from Confessions of a Homeschooler. Next year, I will do the K-4 from the same place.

Here are a few pictures from our first week:

He's working on learning to hold his pencil the correct way.

Doing some math.

Do-A-Dots are so much fun! Both of the boys loved making things with these this week.

I really wish I had a room or better area to use for homeschooling. This is just set up at the back of our living room. It works but it's hard to keep things organized here. I need to find some organization ideas to make this space work better for us.

First Ultrasound

We went for our first ultrasound on Tuesday. It was so great seeing our sweet baby on the screen and knowing that the baby is growing and healthy. The baby had a heart rate of 174. They did a 4D shot for us and I'm amazed at the detail. I think our baby is already so adorable!

During the ultrasound, the tech did find a cyst on my left ovary. Last week, I was having a lot of pain on my left side. I went to the doctor for it and they said I had a kidney infection.  I still find myself getting pains on occasion, so I'm thinking that pain may actually be from the cyst. I have to have another ultrasound in 4 weeks to make sure the cyst isn't growing. Honestly, I'm not very happy with my doctor's office. I felt so rushed when they were seeing me. I have no clue what will happen if it does grow. I have no idea on what the affects of this is on pregnancy. They didn't tell me anything. I saw the midwife for maybe 1 minute. I'm not pleased, but unfortunately, with our insurance, this is the only doctor's office I have an option to use. If this is how it is every visit, I'm not going to enjoy this very much. I don't like to feel rushed, especially when I was told news that I wasn't expecting at all and have no clue what to expect.

Anyway, feel free to pray for me that when I go back in 4 weeks, there will be no cyst at all!

I'll end this post with a picture of our sweet, sweet baby :)